I am a '90s baby and am terrified of turning 30!

There’s something about approaching 30 that feels… heavy. I still have a couple of years to go, but it already feels like it’s going to be more than just another birthday. It’s a milestone, a line in the sand that says, “Hey, welcome to serious adulthood.” And as a proud ‘90s baby, the thought of stepping into my 30s has me both nostalgic and absolutely terrified.

30 Feels Like a Lot of Responsibility 

When I was a kid, 30 seemed ancient. I remember looking at my relatives in their 30s and thinking, “Wow, they’ve got it all figured out.” They had jobs, homes, families, and this air of knowing what they were doing. Fast forward to now, and I’m staring down the barrel of 30 feeling like I’m still winging most of my life decisions. The idea of stepping into the “fully responsible adult” role is daunting. It’s not like turning 18 when people tell you you’re an adult but still forgive your mistakes. No, 30 feels… definitive. Serious. Like there’s no more room for “figuring it out.”

It’s funny because growing up, I used to think by 30, I’d have it all: a dream job, a home, a partner, and maybe even kids. Yet here I am, realizing life doesn’t follow a neat checklist. It’s more of a messy, unpredictable adventure. And while that can be exciting, it’s also incredibly intimidating.

The Uncertainty of It All

Another thing that terrifies me? The uncertainty. I have a job, but it’s on a contractual basis. Sure, I’ve done a lot of things and learned a lot along the way, but I don’t have that “steady” career path that so many people my age seem to have. And let’s be real, the world we live in doesn’t make it easy. There’s this constant pressure to have it all together, but life is unpredictable, and sometimes you just have to roll with it. Still, it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind.

Social media doesn’t help either. It’s a highlight reel of people’s successes, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Seeing peers celebrate promotions, weddings, or buying homes can make you question your own progress. But deep down, I know everyone’s journey is different. It’s just a matter of reminding myself that it’s okay to go at my own pace.

The Fear of Aging 

Ah, aging. Let’s talk about that delightful process. I’ve started noticing changes in my body, and honestly, it’s not fun. My metabolism doesn’t work as fast as it used to. I can’t eat whatever I want without dealing with a bloated tummy later. My energy levels? Let’s just say they’re not what they used to be. I get tired more easily now, and it’s a stark reminder that my body needs more care and attention. Exercise? Yeah, that’s something I need to prioritize more. But the truth is, it’s not just the physical changes that scare me. It’s the realization that time is passing—fast.

And then there’s the societal obsession with youth. As someone who grew up in the ‘90s, I remember when “youthful” meant being carefree and invincible. Now, I find myself wondering if I’ve been drinking enough water. It’s a strange shift, and while I try to embrace it, part of me misses the days when I didn’t have to think about these things.

Thinking About the Future

For most of my life, I’ve been focused on studying and learning. And while that’s been rewarding, turning 30 has made me think about sustainability. It’s no longer just about chasing knowledge or experiences; it’s about building a life. I’ve moved a lot—from city to city, country to country. And while that’s given me incredible experiences, I’m starting to feel the pull to settle down, to find a place I can call home. It’s not just about me anymore. It’s about creating a foundation for the future—for a family, for stability, for something lasting.

But let’s be real: deciding where to settle isn’t easy. Do I stay close to family? Do I prioritize career opportunities? Or do I pick a place that just feels right? These are the questions that keep me up at night. And while I don’t have all the answers, I’m trying to trust the process and take it one step at a time.

Embracing the Fear (or Trying To)

Deep down, I know that turning 30 isn’t the end of the world. It’s just another chapter, and maybe it’s time to embrace it. Maybe 30 doesn’t have to be about having it all figured out. Maybe it’s about continuing to learn, grow, and adapt—just like I’ve been doing all along. So, here’s to turning 30. To the fear, the uncertainty, the growth, and the journey ahead. And to anyone else feeling the same way: you’re not alone. Let’s figure this out together, one day at a time.